Wufei's Adventure!
by Tearless Soldier
Summary: I wrote this on the bus ride to a field trip to the Art Institute of Chicago with my art class. Boredom and sleep deprivation induced.... you have been warned... R&R please?


Okies everybody, I got the idea for this one on the bus on my way to a field trip for my art class. (You need something to do, right?) Basically, the idea is, out of boredom.... wait! I don't want to spoil the plot! You just have to read the story for yourself!  
  
Disclaimer: Hmm.... If I owned Gundam Wing I would be rich, now wouldn't I? And, I don't any of the artworks at the Art Institute of Chicago either!  
Note to Miss Quimby: I do mention specific people from our class in here. Nothing mean though! Just funny! ^_^  
  
  
***  
  
  
Amanda snapped her fingers and Wufei suddenly appeared standing in front of her.  
  
"What am I doing here, onna?" He asked.   
  
Amanda is seen completely zoned out and staring off into space. She is wearing a just above the knee length black skirt (A/N: I HATE skirts.... I didn't have any nice pants... -_-....), a black tank top (a la Heero), with a sky blue, ¾ sleeve, dress shirt with 3 buttons undone over that. On her feet she dons socks (:: yup! I'm weird! :: ), and dress shoes.  
  
"We are here because I am on my way to a field trip in the real world. I needed an escape from the bus ride, so...."  
  
Wufei crossed his arms, "What do you plan to do to me? It's against your morals to kill me..."  
  
"You have a point there Wu'," Wufei winced and was about to say something about the monstrous monocouer (sp?), but Amanda continued talking without eve noticing him,"...but just barely. My morals won't let me murder, but they're fine with killing for mercy, revenge, etc..."   
  
Wufei sat down on a conveniently placed seat, keeping at least 2 feet between himself and Amanda at all times. After all, even for an onna, she was unpredictable... At that moment Amanda snapped her fingers again and the dark room lit up. But it wasn't really a room at all. It was...  
  
"A school bus?!" screamed Wufei. The seat he was sitting on was an average, brown, lame attempt at imitation leather, bus seat. He was sitting across the aisle from Amanda.  
  
"Hey! I wanted to imitate my real world location. Everything that happens there, happens here."  
  
"What?" screamed Wufei. A train had driven past at the very moment that Amanda had said her last sentence. He hadn't heard a word she'd said...  
  
Amanda sighed, "I said.... oh, never mind..."  
  
Wufei decided that he didn't want to listen to the baka onna any more, (Hey!!! *hits Wufei upside the head*) and he began to plan an escape route. He stood up to survey the amount of people on the bus. But there was something a little odd...  
  
"All onnas?!" he practically screeched.  
  
"Yep," Amanda replied," all girl school, don't you remember me saying that over, and over, and over...."  
  
The girls on the bus finally noticed Wufei's presence. (Finally? What blondes! Wait... darn it!! I keep forgetting I'm a blonde too!) Fortunately Wufei was "pretty" enough for the girls to mistake him for a girl. (Jeeze, they are dense!)  
  
"Who is that?" asked one girl.  
  
"Is she new?" asked another.  
  
(Might I add that it's mostly freshmen on the bus?)  
  
"Who are you?" the reigning teacher asked.  
  
"Wha--"began Wufei, but Amanda quickly jumped in and covered his mouth to keep him quiet.   
  
"You shouldn't be talking girl!" Amanda said sweetly to Wufei,"You're still getting over your laryngitis!" (When have I ever said "girl"? And I do NOT talk sweetly to anyone! Who writes this stuff?! Oh... I do....)  
  
Amanda turned to her teacher and made up a quick excuse. (I'm very good at this btw) "Um... she's a new exchange student from China! Yea! You don't need to worry; she paid for the field trip and everything!"  
  
The teacher raised her eyebrow, "What's her name?"  
  
"Wu..." she thought fast, "Meiran. Meiran Chang." Wufei's eyes went about as wide as the Grand Canyon. (That's pretty darn big, ya know.... And in case you don't know, Meiran is his dead wife's name)   
  
"Meiran Chang...." the teacher checked her list. "That name's not on here, and the office didn't say anything..."  
  
"The office never says anything!" added the only senior on the bus, "They never say anything about cross country! It's always volleyball this, and volleyball that!"  
  
"We're here!" interrupted one of the freshmen. "Finally!" (Wow... a whole 25 minutes on a bus... how ever did she manage?)  
  
In her rush to keep everyone on the bus, the teacher completely forgot about Wufei or Meiran.... (Mwahahaha! I think I might be a tiny bit evil...) Amanda pulled out her notebook and began writing furiously.  
  
Wufei hit her, none to gently, over the head to get her attention. But she didn't really feel it at all. (I am living proof that getting hit on the head is no danger to your intelligence! *runs into the wall* much...) She replied without looking up from her writing. "What now baka?"  
  
"Would it be safe to ask you what you are writing?"  
  
"No, but I'll tell you anyway." She looked up with an evil smirk that Wufei didn't like very much. "As far as I can tell, today is going to be very interesting. So I'm going to write it *all* down..." she let her voice linger over the word "all" just to demonstrate to Wufei just what kind of torture he was in for.   
  
As everyone started to unload off the bus, Wufei just stood there staring at Amanda. She was the only one who could put the fear of every god of every religion in him, and she knew it.  
  
* * *  
  
As the girls got off the bus, they split up into two groups. Wufei was about to go into the group Amanda *wasn't* going to be in, but Amanda grabbed his arm and stopped him.   
  
"Where do you think you're going? You have to stay with me, otherwise, knowing you, you will get into God knows how much trouble."  
  
When everyone was divided into their groups, the teacher asked everyone if they needed to go to the bathroom. And, darn those girls for not going before they left, everyone had to go. Including Amanda. Of course, Wufei couldn't go into the ladies' room, so, Amanda, being the kind human being that she is, decided to hold it for the rest of the trip. Or at least until they went to lunch.   
  
"You really owe me one Wufei..." Amanda grumbled.  
  
* * *  
  
As they began their tour, both of them could already tell that this was going to be a loooong day... The tour guide was a middle aged woman, about in her 40s, with short brown hair that was starting to gray. Every other word out of her mouth was "my friends" and she was more interested in telling them about the society the artist lived in rather than about the piece they were looking at. As they were walking through the halls, they walked past the Asian art hall.   
  
"Wait a minute!" said Wufei, "aren't we going over there?" He pointed back towards the hallway they had just passed.  
  
"I'm sorry, my friend, we're not. But you can come back another time with your family to see it, my friend."  
  
"Her family's in China." A girl pointed out. The docent (that's the tour guide's title) just blinked and continued walking.   
  
The group continued walking until they came to a room with a very high ceiling that contained a winding staircase. In the center of the room, hanging from the ceiling, was a gray sculpture of a man, who, when seen from the angle that they were looking from, appeared to be hanging himself. The docent instructed the group to set their chairs down there and have a seat. As the discussion went on, Amanda and Wufei had their own little conversation about the piece.  
  
"Why is he hanging himself?" asked Wufei.  
  
"Do you really think he's hanging himself?"  
  
"What else would he be doing?"  
  
"Well, just look." Amanda pointed up at the hanging figure. "Does he look like he's dying to you?"  
  
"Yes. I think he's dying. That's why he's all tensed up."  
  
"How does this piece make you feel?" they heard the docent ask.  
  
Amanda replied, "Well, it makes me feel... unnerved. I don't know exactly what he's doing at this angle, and I want to know what he's doing."  
  
Wufei's answer was more along the lines of, "Why is he killing himself? What could have made him resort to suicide?"  
  
The docent wrapped up the conversation and the group proceeded up the stairs to look at the sculpture from a different angle. Amanda was a few feet ahead of Wufei, and so saw the rest of it first.   
  
"Ha! I told you so Wu- I mean, Meiran!"  
  
Wufei just looked at the face of the figure as they reached the top of the stairs. "He's... smiling. And he's not killing himself! I was mislead!"  
  
"Don't you dare say 'injustice'... I told you to look closer, but you were too thick headed..."  
  
From the new angle, above the piece, the image was quite different. The man no longer looked like he was hanging himself. Now he looked like he was an acrobat hanging by his teeth by a rope. And, like Wufei said, he was smiling.  
  
"I don't see how hanging by your teeth is fun..." said Amanda.  
  
"I think I like this!" exclaimed Wufei.  
  
"Hmm... now that I think about it... I do too. I would want this in my house if I ever had one big enough to contain a winding staircase. It has a shock factor of about 9."  
  
"What's this called again?"  
  
"I'm not sure of the name, but it's by..." Amanda checked her notes, "Juan Monuz or something like that..."  
  
***  
  
The crew of teenagers continued on towards the next piece. They walked away from the stairs into the galleries. They didn't walk very long though before the docent told them to sit again. This time they were looking at an eerily beautiful painting by Roberto Mertta called "The Earth is a Man". It was a swirl of color that, while pleasing to the eye, never seemed to stop changing. There were areas that looked like water, but then, just when you think you know what the image is supposed to be, you notice the flower-like area to the left and your whole idea changes.  
  
"Wow." Amanda's jaw just about hit the floor. (I didn't really react like this, but I might have if I had been by myself....)  
  
"What is it?" asked Wufei. He was sitting in his tiny folding chair tilting his head back and forth looking at all parts of the picture.  
  
"I think it's supposed to symbolize searching. Maybe for a loved one who left and never came back. I know for a fact you know what that is like, *Meiran*."   
  
"Shut up, onna! I don't think that's what the artist was trying to say here."  
  
"What do you think he wanted to say then?"  
  
"I think he wanted to portray chaos, and the hopelessness of the world we live in. 'All enemies were defeated and still, nothing has changed.'"  
  
"I think it's safe to say that we both like this painting. I would want to put something like this in a bedroom."  
  
"And I give it a shock factor of only about 3."  
  
"Hey!" she lightly hit him on the head. "Shock factor is my job!"  
  
He sighed, "Then what would you give it?"  
  
"A 3!" she smiled.  
  
* * *  
  
On the way towards their final painting, everyone was getting very tired and very hungry, not to mention that by that point Amanda really had to use the bathroom! As the group approached the painting called "The Banquet" Amanda thought immediately of the Japanese flag. She thought the group was going to pass it up to look at something else, but the stopped by the painting for yet *another* discussion. Amanda and Wufei sat down and just stared.  
  
"I hate it." stated Amanda simply. "It's just, too..."  
  
"Pointless." Wufei finished her sentence for her. "There appears to me to be no meaning for this painting to even exist. René Magritte must have been very bored to have thought up this idea."  
  
"You have to give the guy some credit though. After all, the city of Chicago liked this so much that they made part of a park into a model of this painting. And, maybe the giant red dot in the center, even though must people think it's the sun, is symbolic of something that we just can't figure out."  
  
"Well, you sold me. You should be a lawyer; you're good at convincing people to like things."  
  
"Nah. I couldn't sell horse shoes to a stable." (Really! I couldn't! Somehow they would find a better offer!)  
  
And finally, the god-forsaken tour was over. All of the groups, all two of them, were gathering at the back door to the museum, and many a rumbling stomach could be heard echoing throughout the galleries. The teacher had decided that, since they were mostly poor, the whole group would walk down the block to McDonald's instead of eating at the cafeteria. This gave Amanda the impression that the teacher had eaten there PLENTY of times while she had worked at the museum.  
  
Wufei, being the type of person to isolate himself from society, had NO IDEA what McDonald's was. So he asked Amanda, the all knowing, breathtakingly beautiful authoress. (Hey, it's my story! Stop looking at me like that!)  
  
"It's a fast food restaurant where people can eat food, well, fast. And for very little money. It's great, and I love it! But it's nowhere near as good as BK."   
  
"I don't think I will be eating then. If it's something you like, then it must be junk food. You and Duo have the same taste in food, you guys will eat anything!"  
  
Amanda very subtly tripped Wufei as he was walking/ storming away. A couple of girls saw Wufei storming away and quietly muttered something about PMS then laughed to themselves. The class then proceeded back through the museum and out onto Michigan Av. (Which, by the way, was very busy and cold....). As the ladies, and gentleman (I use that term loosely.... so loose that it's falling off as we speak.... *puts on a belt to hold up the term, but it's still slowly falling*), waited at the corner for the light to change, a truck drove by. But the trailer was very, unusually thin, and, hanging on the side of the trailer, was a mattress. And on the mattress was a mannequin dressed in pj's and made to look like its sleeping. Everyone within sight of the truck stopped in their tracks and stared as the truck drove by, unaware of the, um... what's the word... commotion that it had just caused.  
  
"Welcome to Chicago..." Amanda whispered to Wufei, who was standing with is jaw to the floor, while the rest of the class crossed the street. Then the windy part of the title of "The Windy City" really kicked in. A cold wind whipped through the streets and sent a chill up everyone's back.   
  
Except of course, for Amanda. She was immune to the cold, and she was one of the few people wearing a skirt (. Don't remind me!). They all shivered in their 3 ½ inch heels as Amanda calmly walked along at the back of the group. Even Wufei was showing signs of suffering, which Amanda couldn't help but laugh at. Nothing cures you mood like watching Wufei, the Chinese bombshell, shivering, teeth chattering, and huddled together for warmth, just like the girls. They all charged into McDonald's like the hungry teenagers they were, and jumped into the first line from the door. Amanda calmly (well, sorta calm anyways...) walked through the starving girls, grabbing Wufei on the way, and walked to the last line, where there was only one NORMAL civilian waiting in line. Amanda was the first one to order her food, but that didn't mean she was the first one to get a seat, oh no... She ordered 3 McChicken sandwiches, 2 orders of fries, a large coke, 2 double cheeseburgers, and a salad. Oh yea! And an apple pie, too! Somehow, Amanda roped Wufei into helping carry the food up the stairs to the second floor where the rest of the class was sitting. But, since they were that last one's to get up there, there were basically NO seats left. The walked around for the next 5 minutes and FINALLY found a seat that had been overlooked, for very obvious reasons.... It was a half booth and half chair seat, and well, the stuffing was coming out of the chair, which had one wooden leg. And the plastic-ish booth (I have no clue as to what they are made of.... ^_^ () ) was falling apart. Half of it was completely missing!  
  
Despite all of those problems, and objections from Wufei, Amanda set the trays down and started inhaling the food. In no time Amanda had downed 2 McChickens an order of fries, and ½ of her soda.   
  
"Um... Wufei... I decided to be nice and buy you that salad. I'm not going to have room for it myself anyway, so you better eat it, I don't want to have wasted my money..." Amanda had discovered kindness!! But... could Wufei discover how to accept a gift? He was awful hungry... in fact; he hadn't eaten in 2 days...  
  
He decided to dig in and was inhaling the salad just as fast as Amanda was downing her food, even though he knew full well that Amanda would find a way to use this against him. Who cares? It's food!   
  
*I've been hanging around Duo too much* thought Wufei, as he and Amanda finished their food (I can eat fast when I want to! ^_^). The students were gathering, yet again, to begin their trek back to the museum and the bus. But, just as the group walked out the door and got half way down the block, the teacher took a head count and discovered that two students were missing. So everyone had to go back, past the bum begging for money, and look for the freshmen. As it turns out, they were buying ice cream.... now, let me ask you this. WHO BUYS ICE CREAM IN NOVEMBER?! RIGHT BEFORE YOU GO OUTSIDE?! (Ahem... uh.... sorry for that outburst... I got carried away... and my legs are going numb from sitting and typing for so long....)  
  
Finally they got their ice cream, and everyone journeyed back outside and towards the museum. At the corner, the light and turned and no one was crossing, so the teacher asked, "Why isn't anyone crossing? Oh yea! I'm the teacher! I'm supposed to go first!" (Go easy on her, it's her first year). Then, the completed their adventure downtown and headed back to the bus.  
  
Back on the bus, everyone was marveling at the little overly priced trinkets that they had bought as they found their seats. Amanda threw herself into the seat and Wufei quietly sat down next to her.  
  
"Don't worry Wu-man..." said Amanda, "You don't have to suffer anymore... but now comes the fun part!" Her eyes widened and all of a sudden she became very excited. "You get to help me decide what to do to the other boys without worrying about what they can do to you because you went first! That is your reward for behaving today, mostly..."  
  
"I get to choose the victim and the punishment?" he asked, surprised, "Justice will be served...." (I tried to avoid the stereotypes, I really tried... ;_;) he rubbed his hands together sinisterly. "I think Duo should be next... he really deserves it, I think."  
  
"Hmm... well, I guess.... He will be easier to write about than you, at least.."  
  
"What?! What is that supposed to mean, onna?!" he shrieked.  
  
"Do you know how hard it is to not make you look like a chauvinist pig?" Wufei's jaw dropped for the 2nd time that day (I think... I lost count), and he was about to give a really biting reply, but Amanda cut him off. "Getting back to this Duo business... I thing our readers should decide what to do to Duo.."  
  
"You honestly think people read this stuff?" he held up a bunch of papers that are labeled "Wufei's Adventure: Rough draft" in large red letters. Amanda snatched it away, pulled out her whip, and with a crack of the whip, Wufei was gone, transported back to the GW Universe.  
  
* * *  
  
Ok people!! What should I do to Duo? Or should I torture someone else next? Feedback is the only way I will know you opinions! I can't read your mind! (Yet...) And now, I must leave, because... it's 1:25am and I have to get up for school, and I keep hearing noises that I think are my mom. I don't want her to catch me up! Au revoir! *blows a kiss to the readers*  
  
Oh yea! And this story is based on actual events that happened while on my little field trip. Except, I didn't really order all that food, all I had was a McChicken (wish I could have afforded all that food though...). And that docent was really annoying... Every other phrase was "My friends".   
--  
~"Friendship has vision, though dear love be blind..."~  
-Haruka/Mamo-chan/Joe/Amanda- 


End file.
